IN THE NAME OF

One of the bars I work at can be quite depressing. Sometimes while I'm tending the bar I realize that I am surrounded by nothing but men. Most of them alone, waiting for me to move down the line- shooting the breeze with each of them. Often, I try and strike up a communal chat about sports or the weather and knock out two sad souls at a time.

Many of them I know exactly what they drink, where they work and live, what baseball team they root for but have know clue what their name is. Babe, Sweetie, Hun, Love or Sugar is always a great substitute.

A cute little old man that sports wire rim glasses and a significant gap in between his two front teeth visits me at least twice a week. He works at some sort of fabric place and often brings in a big bag of clothing samples allowing me to choose two or three. This being hard because most of them are made primarily of lace (not my style) but still a nice gesture.

I promptly make him his Absolut and soda (no fruit) and with his eyes beaming across the bar he accurately thanks me by name.

"No problem, Babe," I respond.

I try not to feel guilty in most cases, stressing to myself that this can't be the pinnacle of their day... or I sure hope not.

I recently started a list for myself behind the bar of descriptions of people and their names:

Tall, photographer, Guinness = Brendan

Gin and Tonic, white hair, drinks standing up= Frank

Puerto Rican, laptop, PBR= _____(still waiting on that one)

The only problem is trying to gather the information in the first place. After months or years of interacting with someone on a regular basis it's impossible to ask, "What's your name?" The ways that don't work so well are:

-"So, how do you spell your name?" That leaves way too much room for looking like a real ass when their name is John, Dan, Mark etc.

-If they are paying with a credit card you can use the name on the card but sometimes it is clear that the 22 year-old drinking Jager probably doesn't go by his birth name, Frederick.

Wish me luck filling out my list in the meantime let's have a:

THE DRINK WITHOUT A NAME

Cocktail glass with ice

2 oz. Vodka

Splash of Grand Marnier

Splash of Chartreuse

Orange peel